After a week of Resident Assistant training, I finally feel prepared to “conclude” my summer study abroad experience. Traveling to Shanghai and speaking Mandarin every day for two months is something I will never forget. To close out my blog posts, I would like to write about a common phrase in Mandarin I have grown fond of.
离不开 (lí bù kāi) is a phrase often used to describe one’s lack of ability to separate themselves from something. For example, you may 离不开手机 (shǒujī, phone), if you find yourself with a phone addiction. I use it right now though to say I 离不开 China. While I am currently writing this from a room at the top of Tower A, a part of myself is waking up for Chinese class at Donghua University. While I just returned from a meal at the Eatery, a part of myself just returned from the 24-hour fruit market on my other campus. While I am now able to look back fondly on my experience, roughly a week ago, I was the sobbing mess portrayed in the photo below.
Looking back on my experience, I remember the nights of little sleep because of the 30 new words we were tasked with learning every day. While I held great resentment then for the immense volume of learning we had to complete, I look back now grateful for all I was able to learn and excited to return to Chinese classes at Pitt, where we learn 30 new words in one or two weeks on average. In addition, my internship at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences provided an extra challenge, where I was tasked with teaching professional English to a researcher as to prepare him to present his findings at international conferences. I had never taught English before, so before our first lesson, I learned how to teach. Throughout the summer, we worked on perfecting his pronunciation, rhythm, and fluency, and by the end of our lessons, I said goodbye to someone with whom I could have full English conversations about policy.
The opportunity to live in China for two months is not something many people get to say they did. I am grateful to be one of the few. Being back in the United States, there is a part of me that feels somewhat unfulfilled. It was almost as if living in China gave me a sense of completion, and leaving fractured that sense of completeness. But it is restored in the small reminders of my experience, such as yesterday, when I met my Chinese international student resident and used my greatly-improved Mandarin to interact with him. There is no doubt in my mind that one day, disregarding my severe fear of flying, I will return to Shanghai, China, and Southeast Asia as a whole. And when I get back, I will meet that part of myself once again waiting for me. But now, I want to use my experience to benefit my community here in the United States in any way possible. This impact ranges from helping other students access the generous scholarships that made my experience possible, to working in a government office where I can use my Mandarin skills to assist constituents, to helping the international student on my floor feel a bit more at home. In this, to quote a friend, “the best part has arrived, getting to connect with people about your experiences in totally opposite ends of the world. So human. So special.” I get to pay back those who trusted me with this experience by turning it into something not only life-changing for myself, but something that leaves a net positive impact on the world.
I 离不开 China. But that doesn’t mean I will spend every waking moment wishing I had bought one extra bowl of noodles or had one more drink with friends. It especially doesn’t mean that I am not my complete self because I had to return home. Instead, I bring a piece of China back with me wherever I go, allowing it to continually impact the way I view the world and my role within it.
