When wondering if I should study abroad this year, the idea of “personal growth” and “stepping out of my comfort zone” was perhaps the biggest draw. I tend to be very anxious and perfectionist, so I almost always hate doing activities that don’t come naturally to me. Every mistake weighs so heavily, whether anyone saw it or not, that I tend to avoid scenarios where I know I’ll mess up. Obviously, the issue with that is that I become stagnant as a person. As an attempt to get out of that stagnancy, I chose to sign up for this study abroad program.

For my research project, I am distributing questionnaires on university campuses in Costa Rica, which, being the introvert that I am, is essentially my worst nightmare. But I signed up for it, so I forced myself to head to the biggest university in the country, pulled out my questionnaires, found a plaza full of students… and then sat there for about 15 minutes, building up the courage to approach any of them.

That day, I needed to hype myself up before every single attempt. And the next day, and the day after that. But what surprised me was how nice people were. I honestly expected distributing surveys to be a harsh form of rejection therapy—who would want to do some random gringo’s questionnaire anyway? But it turned out to be quite the opposite—I’ve collected over 150 responses, and barely anyone has fully said no. So many people have complimented my Spanish, or welcomed me into their card games, or offered to show me around, that there’s honestly not much of a reason to fear these interactions anymore.

After so many positive experiences, I finally learned to get over that initial anxiety of approaching strangers. I became rational enough to see that even if an interaction doesn’t end up how I would like, the awkward misunderstandings, the cold exchanges, and all the discomfort is okay—in fact, it’s a necessary part of the process.

Another moment that felt perhaps disproportionately important for me is laughable: when my friends invited me to go to karaoke night, I immediately refused—but luckily, they were kind enough to force me to have some fun. We went to a local restaurant, and when our turn came, far sooner than I wanted, I sang a childhood classic with my friend Kenya: “La Bicicleta” by Shakira and Carlos Vives. I already sing my heart out to that song every time it comes on, so I pretty much knew what I was doing. Still, when I got on to the miniature stage, I began to panic. Only when I saw everyone’s eyes light up as soon as they realized what song was on, I loosened up. We all knew this song, and it’s impossible not to enjoy it. It started off rocky, but the girls in the front and my friends in the back were hyping me up, and I quickly found the same energy I have every time I sing that song in the kitchen with my mom.

Before I knew it, the song was over, but I had had my fun. Realistically, I knew had done pretty bad: I don’t have a great voice, and I kept getting off beat. But instead of slipping into the normal embarrassment, I tried to focus on the fun I had, and everyone else. Karaoke may not be a vital life skill, but that experience still served as a lesson to allow myself to make mistakes, to be clumsy, to embarrass myself in public—whether just to have fun, or because it’s a necessary part of practice and growth.

Lots of these experiences aren’t specific to Costa Rica—I could, and sometimes do, do the same things in the US, but being in a foreign country is both a blessing and a curse in this aspect. The slight cultural differences, the language barrier, etc, make even the most routine things like catching the bus or going to the gym harder and more nerve-wracking. At the same time, I probably won’t see anyone here ever again, so I don’t have as much of a reason to worry about embarrassing myself. In fact, I’ll be okay even if I embarrass myself at Pitt, because you can’t grow without making mistakes, and that’s the biggest skill I want to take away from this experience. For me, it’s not just about getting better at research, or Spanish, or cultural competence: it’s about getting better at letting myself make mistakes and grow from them.