This summer I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to pursue a creative project through the Frederick Honors College’s Creative Arts Fellowship. I’m so grateful to have worked alongside my peers under the guidance of fellowship director Brett Say, research program coordinator Abby Chen, my mentor Diana Khoi Nguyen, and the Center for Creativity staff.
With the free range of my time, approaching this full-length poetry collection was scary but also incredibly freeing. Scary because sometimes the pressure to produce perfection has me staring at a blank page. However, changing my mindset from product to process made me grow as an artist. I learned how to reach out for help and that people are willing to help when they don’t have to.
Despite poetry being shorter in length, the process is long. A lot of reading other poetry collections. A lot of trying new mediums. A lot of thinking of what to write. And what fits in the narrative of the collection. A lot of revision. And scrapping completely. And killing your darlings. A lot of researching niche topics that make your search history worry the FBI agent. A lot of ordering the pages. Example: the state of my living room. A lot of breaks from writing to live life.
Originally, I wanted a physical poetry collection but it made more sense for the poetry to be displayed digitally. I got a better sense of my artistic style and core values as the project went on. I kept teetering the line between the expectations of academia and the accessibility of childlike expression. My poetry might not be regarded as polished professionally but acts as a radical protest of the norm. My marginalized identities impact how I exist on a page so I decided to embrace experimentation and inevitable failure. The core of this collection is queer mess. Although digital, I wanted the physicality of a human touch. I achieved this by projecting poetry on different mediums. I wanted the presence of empirical research, the scientific methodology, mixed in with playful form and emotional storytelling. Shout out to Canva for making this process fun and simple!
I will wrap up planning an intimate interactive exhibit that will take place early fall. I am considering publishing a physical book in the future. In the meantime, I will continue the spirit of collaboration, focus on my last semester as an undergraduate student, and seek to be innovative.