Hey there! My name’s Zain Adamo. I’m a rising Junior majoring in Film and Media Studies on a production track, and I’m honored to have received the Brackenridge fellowship this year. I really enjoy writing, both in and outside school, and hope to one day write and direct my own films. This fall, I’ll be studying abroad in London, which I’m extremely excited about- I’ve only left the country once or twice, so the ability to go to Europe for four months is a dream come true.

This summer, I’ll be shooting and editing an experimental documentary about my great-aunt and her experience in immigrating from Syria to the United States in the 1950’s. My project (and major) may seem less research-oriented than much of the other work being pursued, but I believe that being able to explore research through a creative, artistic lens is a valuable and necessary experience.

My professor (and mentor) Sarah Moore first introduce me to this fellowship, and it took me a while to understand that film and creative work is just as valid a form of research as is dealing with hard data and tangible facts. If we define research as a systemic approach to a specific topic with the hope of fostering a greater understanding of it, then that is exactly what filmmaking is. Filmmaking is, at its basic level, a meticulous, planned approach to a subject that hopes to pose a significant answer (or question) to a chosen audience. So I committed to applying for the Fellowship, and decided on a topic that I’ve been interested in for a while. In 1950, my great-aunt Samira Makhoul, immigrated to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania from Safita, Syria. She was the first member of either side of my family to do so, and her decision would inspire others to join her, creating a new branch of my family here in the United States. My entire existence- the fact that I live where I live, speak what I speak, study what I study- is due to the remarkable butterfly effect of her decision to immigrate. Her single choice, a drop in the bucket, rippled far beyond what she could have imagined. She passed away in 2016. I was too young then to understand the questions I had for her. I never knew how to ask her about her decision- whether it filled her with guilt or pride, whether she had moved on or still felt it, whether she still had any regrets or hopes- and that had frustrated me. I’ve always felt disconnected from my family in Syria, and in recent years, have come to understand this disconnect as a result of that initial immigration. So for this project, I decided to trace that feeling back to its source, and examine exactly how the decision to immigrate affected my great-aunt and our whole family.

The documentary is necessarily experimental in nature because I can’t sit and interview my great-aunt, like I’d like to, and must turn to other ways to tell her story. This mostly involves using archival home video footage, interviews with living family members, and a fictionalized narrative to explore her own thought process during her time in America. A project like this is very hard to structure, and is mostly a process of discovery as I continue filming and editing. Research has been crucial at every step- analyzing different documentaries, reading about conducting interviews, selecting subjects, guiding narratives, planning and organizing shoots, spending time uncovering old home video footage, etc. Jonas Mekas’ film As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses of Beauty and Emily Kwong’s podcast Inheriting are examples of the kind of story I’m trying to tell. This research is important to me because it will give me a greater understanding of my own identity, and make me a more tactful, thoughtful filmmaker. However, this research is equally important for others because the subject can resonate deeply with first, second, and third generation immigrants (and beyond!). I know there are people besides me who question their own identities due to geographic and cultural divides. This research, I hope, will give them a greater understanding of just how these choices come to be. 

This project is deeply in line with my personal and professional goals, and the Fellowship is directly responsible for helping me achieve them. I hope to be a more clever, more sensitive, and more meaningful artist as I learn and grow. These goals can only be met by doing– by creating. I aim to continue making films that draw on my own conflicts and questions, and one day find a wider audience for them. The ability to make this film this summer is incredible, and a goal that I could not have pursued without the Fellowship’s help.