As I gear up for my finals, I realize I’m studying differently. There’s a certain ease to understanding the structure of my classes that I honestly had never felt before I was a teaching assistant and had to construct my own class this semester.

My understanding of teaching went through an evolution over the semester. It was almost lazy of me to think that teachers are all mighty and all-knowing. That erases a lot of the complexity that is embedded in the process of learning. What I found throughout my semester as a TA was that as a teacher your job is to constantly be learning. In some jobs, you just find the right answer, in others, you interpret that answer, but in teaching it’s not necessarily like that. It’s more about finding more than one right answer and learning how it can change your whole perspective on the topic and how it applies to the world. This is especially true in the case of the humanities, as I saw while TAing for a literature class.

I feel that now I can better understand what it means to be a teacher. A teacher should be open to being educated, a teacher should value other’s opinions almost as highly as their own. Most of the time, the teacher’s reference should be the student. Almost every Tuesday and Thursday at 12:15, I have walked out of class feeling so proud of the students when the discussion picked up or when they said something I hadn’t ever thought of. That feeling is pretty addicting. It explains why some teachers are so passionate about their jobs. The best teachers seek to be proud of their students and to learn from them.

The way I look at learning now has changed a lot in comparison to my perspective before. Like I mentioned at the beginning, my approach to studying in my classes has changed for the better. Once you understand the methodology and structure of crafting a class (and teaching is certainly a craft), the puzzle pieces start to align in your mind. Having the opportunity to create my own class through thorough research and do a lecture and discussion on the topic allowed me to see how interconnected the concepts in my other classes are. My teachers purposefully craft lessons that are based on each other, re-use past examples, and reiterate ideas to further them to a higher level of understanding just like I did for my own class. I’m so happy to say that the process of learning how to teach made learning easier for me because now I can follow their logic as if it’s my own.

Additionally, the most valuable part of the CUTF experience for me was the direct connection to a faculty member who helped me in my journey. Having Dr. Brenda Whitney as a reference in class and outside of class was incredible. I enjoyed watching her teach and used her as a model for how to structure my class on Carmen and how to create and lead a discussion. Dr. Whitney was kind enough to take the time to give me great notes on my discussion questions and my lecture from a teacher’s perspective. We were able to have really fun conversations about how the students would react, what they would like best, and what we were interested in highlighting while we taught. I also enjoyed having a say on the syllabus and where Carmen would best fit in there, given that we had so much to cover in the semester, I wanted my class to land at just the right time to optimize their understanding of how all the concepts we covered before came together in my chosen opera. I think Dr. Whitney and I made the right decision given that the students clapped for me after my class! What an unforgettable moment.

After this exhausting but very rewarding experience, I hope to focus on finishing my classes this semester and getting better and better at learning in the next one. I’m also looking forward to helping my students with their final projects for Women & Literature!

Now that I have had this invaluable experience, I’ve gained better research skills, a more concrete sense of logical framing, and a stronger voice when presenting in front of a crowd. I plan to use these skills in my future classes and everywhere I go. After this semester, I still don’t know if I want to be a teacher, but I know I could be one. That’s a solid thing to know about myself at such a young age. And it’s all thanks to Carmen.