The biggest challenges I’ve had to face during my exchange are being so far from my friends and family and having to make new friends. The first few weeks of a semester abroad are truthfully very overwhelming, especially if you’re the only person from your University in your study abroad location.

I’ve had the comfort of knowing people wherever I’ve gone my entire life. I grew up in Pennsylvania, and I chose to go to university in-state. Several people from my high school also went to Pitt, so even though it was a new place, there were always familiar faces. Coming to Melbourne was the first time in my entire life where there was nobody that knew me (aside from one family friend).

I won’t sugar coat; it was brutal at first. I made a lot of acquaintances very quickly, but the friendships were so new that they lacked the depth and time all my friendships at home had. My close friends at home know everything about me; what makes me happy, what music to put on if we want to have a dance party, what I need if I’m stressed. It felt terrifying to think about opening myself up to new people, and truthfully it was exhausting to keep introducing myself repeatedly. “Hi, my name is Rutuja, and I’m on exchange from Pittsburgh” became a chore, and I found myself longing for the comfort and stability of my people back home.

It was my people back home that gave me the motivation to continue putting myself out there until I made friends in Melbourne that really clicked. My best friends reminded me over and over that I am worth knowing, and that I should put myself out there because so are other people. During the first few weeks of exchange especially, they gave me so much reassurance and kindness in the form of group facetimes and gentle nudges pushing me to be social, repeatedly telling me everything was going to be okay and giving me advice on how to positively handle my feelings. It wasn’t until around week 7 of my exchange that I could confidently say I had made good new friends, and in my opinion that is completely normal.

I think making new friends is a huge and completely valid challenge anyone going abroad alone will face. Especially for an entire semester abroad, my advice is that you’re not going to become friends with every single person you meet. In fact, you shouldn’t. Focus on the quality of your friendships with people you meet, not the quantity of friends you make. Not every person you meet on exchange is meant to be your best friend, but everyone deserves a chance, and you might find friendships in the unlikeliest of places. It is completely okay if you meet people and decide you do not want to be close to them especially if they make you feel drained! The first few weeks will likely feel lonely and isolated, but your friends and family at home will always be there to support you, and you will learn to support yourself. Don’t let the familiarity of comfort hold you back from immersing yourself in the abroad experience, making new friends is part of the process.

photo description: My friend and I in New Zealand posing in front of the view after a (long and exhausting) hike!