I’d like to elaborate on something that I’ve mentioned in a previous post: the challenge of my own expectations. In retrospect, the fact that I’ve brought it up already speaks to how much it’s been in the back of my mind since being abroad. Whether I was aware of it at the beginning or not, I had placed a lot of expectations on myself of what my time in Ireland should shape up to be. I’d strike the perfect balance between learning and living, in the meantime finally figuring out who I was and what I was meant to do. Of course it doesn’t hurt to have ambitious goals in mind, but I was just so hung up on the idea of the destination that I wasn’t paying enough attention to smell the roses on the journey there. Ignoring my growing penchant for clichés, the point stands. 

At the start, I’d cram as many of what I deemed essential study abroad activities into my schedule, hoping that if I rushed through what could be formative experiences, everything would click faster. Basically, I was flying by the seat of my pants, racing towards benchmarks and outcomes that I had set out from the beginning without paying any mind to if it was working for me. By regarding my goals as tasks to tick off as quickly as possible rather than ideals to gradually work towards, I was too preoccupied with the idea of progress to appreciate my time to the fullest. In short, I struggled to remember that studying abroad and all its lessons are to be savored rather than rushed. Unsurprisingly, this approach was unfulfilling and I lost sight of what I came looking for in Ireland. So, after about a month of this, I pivoted.

It’s important to have aspirations, and it’s even more important to pursue them in a sustainable and enjoyable way. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I’ve tried to walk the line between keeping my long-term goals in mind while also remembering to slow down, stay present, and take in all the unexpected joys that haven’t been penciled into my planner. Speaking of penciling things in, journaling has been a great way to check in with myself while taking stock of my overall wellness, both academic and personal. Reflection, whether in a journal or more informally, has really helped me engage with my goals in a more mindful way. My goals remain the same, but I’ve benefited from staying flexible in my approach to reflect the ever-changing circumstances that come with each day. It’s best summarized with a bit of Virginia Woolf’s abundant wisdom: 

“I am rooted, but I flow.” 

Sláinte!